Another Chapter Ends/Begins?

For the last seven and a half months I've watched my grandson whenever my daughter was working. Today was my last regular day watching him (other than a few hours Saturday mornings) because he's going to daycare starting next week. Like a posted on facebook, "In a way I'm (sort of) glad it's over . . . in another way it turns me inside out." Watching him was an absolute joy; the realization of a dream.

I know he needs to be around other children and in a learning environment. The daycare is wonderful. But nobody can love him like his Granny. And I'm really, really sad.

This is him and "Pops" walking the dogs --- he always "holds" the leash. That's been their daily routine. The baby loves Pops more than any one other than his Mommy. Pops is probably really, really sad too. But he's at work. He's not listening to country music and crying crocodile tears. He might in the morning when he walks the dogs.

Positivity

A huge benefit of working at the bookstore is checking out books ---- and I do! My latest read is "Positivity" by Barbara Frederickson. I've only read a few chapters and have already noticed positive changes in myself.

Some people say they don't have time to read or don't feel the need or have the desire. I crave reading. At work I'm like 'a kid in a candy store' just waiting to 'taste' the next flavor.

When I read books from the Personal Growth section I am acquiring the knowledge of professionals who have years and years of training and experience. All I have to do is invest time reading their books and I benefit from all their education and work. Human behavior has always intrigued me so that's what I read about most. In the past I've purchased MANY 'self-help' books but never finish them. Knowing that I have to take one back before I can check out another pushes me to read faster. I just can't learn enough fast enough.

So this evening (early a.m.) I did some stretching to meditative music ---- I haven't been to yoga class in months ---- and hopefully that can become a habit for me. Stretching always feels so good. Child's pose is a great way to keep my legs flexible. Before I started practicing yoga I could not kneel in church. Now I can fold up just like the woman in this photo from Yoga Journal's website. (Hopefully it is ok to use the photo --- I do have a subscription to the magazine.)

Back to the book: capturing the good feelings we have when we're feeling positive is part of growing into more positive people. One of my favorite positive 'places' to return to is my bedroom. It is upstairs in the southwest corner our 1922 American Foursquare. The south wall has a bay shape and our bed sits between two slanted walls w/ windows and underneath the middle window. When it is cool enough to have the windows open the breeze that crosses the room is so sweet and comforting. I love the sounds of the wind in the trees that are just outside the windows and the train whistles (we live in a 'train' town --- NEVER stop on the tracks). At certain times of the day the room just glows. In 2004 we lost a lot of very large trees to hurricanes. I suppose "the gift" is now that glow of sunshine in the afternoons.

No, we didn't grill the cat!

But it sure looks like it! He naps on the air conditioner. Looks like he's on red hot coals.

Working Nights At The Bookstore

For a couple of months I've worked mostly nights at a 'big box' bookstore. I am absolutely fascinated with books and would not work retail in any other environment. But there are lot of not-so-bright people employed by this bookstore who really irritate me because they don't seem to care about the books -- our one and only product -- books.

Every where I go to work I want to make everything right. But I can't. I can't change the world. I can't rule the world. I just have to try to live by my principles in a world that doesn't seem to have any.

Wrong.

I'm a Granny!

My daughter had a son New Year's Eve! She and her husband kept quiet about her being in labor so for the rest of us it happened really fast. I had a feeling they'd do that.

Unfortunately I have been so sick with the flu that I haven't been able to hold my little guy yet. On his "birthday" I saw him through the glass when he was in the nursery and today (he's three days old) I went to their house but had to stay several feet away from him. Hopefully in two more days I'll be over this awful flu and get to love on him. His other granny is filling in for me and I have to admit to being a bit jealous. But she and I are good friends so it really is ok. I hadn't been sick in FIVE YEARS and then blam! Whatever I have is awful. And I had a flu shot!

Absolute Bliss!

My husband is out of state visiting our oldest son and his wife. Six days on my own!!! Now that is ABSOLUTE BLISS!

I love my husband very much (yesterday was our anniversary and he sent me a dozen long-stemmed red roses --- he'd even ordered them before he left and wrote out the card himself), but once in a while it is so nice to be selfish and just do exactly what I want to do. I even get to hold the remote control!!!

This photo is the inspiration for my craft room (I found the photo on the internet). I've painted half of my room --- it's greener than this but similarly bright and cheery. Our old (1922) house has 5" plank floor throughout the upstairs. When I pulled up the old carpet and a thin fiber board someone put down 40-50 years ago, the floors in this room had significant termite and water damage.

I've painted two coats of high-hide white primer and am going to use white floor paint for the final finish. Hopefully it won't show dirt too bad. I'll have a throw rug just inside the door to help keep it clean. I am SOOOO excited about this room. This has been a dream of mine for many years. There's just the two of us left in this five bedroom house and this will put an empty room to good use.

We'll be grandparents in two months and I'm making one of the other rooms into a nursery. This photo shows a look I like. I picked up a similar changing table off CraigsList; a crib too, but from a different seller. Our grand baby is a boy so I'll make his room more boyish than this photo. I love the polka dots.

It's a bit of a dreary, rainy day -- perfect for getting things done around the house. By the end of the day I'll have finished painting my craft room and started setting things up. Bliss!

Finding Me

I found the real me.

We've all heard of people "trying to find themselves." I think I've actually done it by simply letting go of who others either wanted me to be or mistakenly thought I was. I embraced the freedom to be myself.

It was there all the time -- or rather, I was.

Practicing yoga at a beautiful studio has allowed me to really open up to who I really am. And by beautiful, I don't mean physically beautiful, though it is very nice. I mean spiritually beautiful. People who practice yoga seem to be non-judgmental, friendly, loving and kind. The beauty of their souls engulf me when I walk in the door. And if I'm a little gassy, I just ask someone to light a stick of incense. Where else can you do that?

Then there are two groups of women I meet with at church. The Sunday morning group is mostly women in their 30s who have young children or teens and a few of us empty-nesters. The Wednesday evening group is much more diverse, with women of all ages. Between these two groups I have been able to open myself up be accepted. No pretending, no holding back -- what they see is what they get. AND, I'm allowing myself to SING during church (when everyone else is singing, of course; not at inappropriate times). I do feel a bit sorry for anyone within hearing distance b/c I cannot sing on key. "A Joyful Noise" is what you get when you sit near me. It's in the Bible!